Extraordinarily Inadequate

When it comes to fixing things I'm worthless. Me and tools just don't get along. I've had my van break down in the middle of the night on a highway in the middle of nowhere with my young children fast asleep in the back. That's humiliating. I was at a loss. I didn't have a clue.

We were out with friends when they received a call from one of their daughters. Their 17-year old had a pet rabbit. She loved that rabbit. But something tragic had happened that night and the rabbit was dead and the 17-year old was sobbing.

As it turns out, their 8-year old had a friend over that evening and they were playing with the rabbit even though they had been told to leave it in its cage. The rabbit scratched the young friend and we're not exactly sure what happened next but the rabbit ended up not alive.

So, when my friends arrived home, their 17-year old was sobbing with grief, their 8-year old was sobbing with guilt, and their other daughters were sobbing sympathetically. The young friend was nowhere in sight, he had run home. How do you parent through that? I looked into the teary eyes of my friend, their dad, and the look he had in his eyes was one of total inadequacey.

Commanded by God to be a good father. Entrusted by God with a family. Like Joseph, given a vision of grown children who love the Lord and are serving him as adults. Yet, currently, completely inadequate for the task at hand.

God, help. I surrender. I can't do this.

Isn't that the point. Life takes us beyond our adequacies. Either we fake it or we admit it and cry for help. God speaks. He speaks through his word. He uses other believers to speak into our lives. He speaks directly. We learn and then are sent to the lab to apply it.

Faith is walking ahead as if I really believe I know what I'm doing. I'm not faking it. I trust God will give me the next word I need to say, the next step I need to take, the next question I need to ask or the next answer I need to give.

I am extraordinarily inadequate. God is extraordinary. I better stay close.