Dare to be Different

How different are you? Who notices?

Tom became a Christ-follower as an adult. He was already married and had kids. When my path crossed his later in his life, he admitted he and his wife hated each other in those early years. Bad habits. No reason to love. Whatever. They HATED each other.

Becoming a follower of Christ saved his marriage. Jesus made him different but he didn't make him love his wife. He had to learn to do that all over again. They both committed to trying hard to re-fall in love and it worked. The center piece of their efforts was a weekly date. No kids, no work, no distractions; just focusing on each other. Over time they fell back into love. That's different.

I love my wife very much. I could not imagine falling out of love with her. But, from the day I heard Tom's story I committed to taking my wife on a date every week. The Lord was with Tom. He worked hard at being different and not becoming a divorce statistic. My life is different because of Tom's story.

Tom was an elder in our church. And, he taught the 4th grade Sunday school class. He didn't have any of his kids in that class, they were older. He just loved to teach this age group. And, he was good.

Tom didn't use any curriculum the church could buy. He used his own. And, Tom had these 4th graders having quiet times with the Lord every day, all year. I saw some of these kids' notes from their times with the Lord. They were good.

So, if a 4th grader can have a quiet time every day, and a quality time with Jesus at that, why can't I. Ouch.

I have 3 kids. The oldest was about that age then. Hmmmm. If Tom can get these kids, who aren't his own, to have quiet times, why can't I teach my kids to have quiet times? I'm their father. I'm their (fearless) leader. Ouch.

Frank raised boys. Today, one's an orthopedic surgeon. He was the youngest to ever fellowhip under Dr. James Andrews. If you're a sports fan you know who Dr. James Andrews is in Atlanta. Another son went to SMU and majored in engineering. For kicks he stayed and went to law school there, too. Now he's an attorney for and oil and gas engineering firm doing great.

When my path crossed Frank's, and his boys' paths, I saw a man who always said "yes" to his boys unless he had a very good reason not to. Oh, they challenged that practice. He had to work hard to stay ahead of them and direct them in positive ways. He had to study hard to find out what the risks were to "yes". His sons love the Lord. And, they have vivid imaginations. They have both used the creativity their father cultivated in them at an early age to solve real big and bad problems as adults.

I try to always say "yes" to my kids when they ask me if they can try something. I come from a family where "no" was usually a very quick answer. It hasn't been easy. But, the Lord is with me. Okay, it's not like I'm trying be positive while I'm in prison like Joseph, but old habits die hard and I want my kids to turn out like Frank's boys. My life is different because of Frank's story. So are my kids' lives.

Jim wanted to know how his kids would handle the freedom of their first year of college. Jim is a pastor and you know what they say about Pastor's kids! Oh, and he raised 4 daughters, beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed lovers of Jesus, just like their mother.

So, Jim removed (almost) all their rules while they were seniors in high school. Talk about a high-wire act without a net. No curfew. Freedom. He told me that he wanted to be able to see how they handled the freedom while he still had the chance to talk to them about their choices. Of course, he always reserved the right to "adjust" their freedoms while they lived under his roof.

It worked beautifully. He sent his girls to state colleges and they continued to walk with the Lord and maintain good lifestyles.

I've tried this with 2 of my three so far. I have one more coming. My son flourished under the freedom. Best grades he's ever received during his senior year. My daughter went off to college and had done great. Found a great church, volunteers with YoungLife, has made great grades and great friends. Hmmmm. It seems to be working.

My life is different because of Jim's story, Frank's story and Tom's story. My kids are different than most of their peers for the same reason. These guys influenced more people than they will ever know this side of Heaven.

So, are you different? Who's close enough to notice?