You know there are those guys who just make you feel comfortable. They are the ones whose questions and body language are welcoming and put you at ease.
Then there are those guys who make you tense. Maybe they're awkward. Maybe they're shy. Maybe they're just plain mean. It doesn't matter if you're in their house or if they come to yours, their aura dominates the room and it's tense.
I worked for a pastor who tried really hard to put his staff at ease. He knew it was important to ask good questions in one-on-one situations. It didn't matter if it was social or professional, he worked hard at this.
The problem was, he worked too hard. It was awkward. Especially in those one-on-one, boss/subordinate meetings where we had to disucss a difficult issue. You've heard the saying, "shoot first and ask questions later." Well, he shot with his questions.
It was obvious he was trying to tell me something only he phrased it in a question. He wasn't interested in a yes or no response. What he was looking for was agreement with him.
The odd thing was he was very good in counseling situations. He would put people at ease immediately and make great progress in their issues. But, when the issue was his it did not go well.
Elders are to be hospitable. Some guys just do it better than others. Christian life is a life of transparency, honesty and encouragement. There are guys, some are more gifted and all of them work at getting people to feel comfortable and open up.
Think about all the guys you know. Maybe, think about the guys who sit around the table at Panera. Some put you at ease better than others. These are the guys who meet this qualification.
What do you need to do to qualify yourself?
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