What Does it Look Like to Wait?

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all people. It trains us to reject godless ways and worldly desires and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, as we wait for the happy fulfillment of our hope in the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ." (Titus 2:11-13)

As I continued to chew on what my life should look as I 'wait' my quiet time today took me to 2 Chronicles 14:1-5:

"Asa did what the Lord his God desired and approved. He removed the pagan altars and the high places, smashed the sacred pillars, and cut down the Asherah poles. He ordered Judah to seek the Lord God of their ancestors and to observe his law and commands. He removed the high places and the incense altars from all the cities of Judah. The kingdom had rest under his rule."

This made me wonder what pagan altars, pillars, and poles I might have in my life that need to be cut down. If I am eagerly waiting for my Lord's return then I think it would be a bad scene if I have any evidence of an idol in my life.

The thought comes to mind of what would happen if my wife came home and found evidence of another woman in my life. It's probably the same story with many men like me, I have little fear of divorce. But I am terrified of being tortured and murdered. And, yes, my wife would be capable.

So, here are a couple of the pillars I need to deal with. My education, training and experience are pretty good. But I still need to trust in the Lord make me a better pastor.

My ability to make money, budget. But I need trust God for my future. Now, saving money does not mean I'm not trusting God. In fact, saving and trusting go hand in hand as I work toward what I believe God has laid on me for my retirement years. It doesn't mean I quit working and doing ministry. It just means, if I work and am sacrificial now, I can continue to serve without having to draw a salary from a church. Still, my trust lies in God. He could take it all away tomorrow.

It's really a good thing I can't rely on my handsome good looks to open doors. Not really a pillar I struggle with. Come to think of it, I can't think of any doors my face has opened, on purpose anyway.

Waiting means obeying. Trusting in God alone for everything. I don't need to do any more than I'm already doing IF I'm already doing everything God has called me to do.

Time for an inventory. Tear down the pillars I find. Build up the plans that Lord has for me.

What does waiting look like for you?

Sometimes I'm Confused

I work really hard to know as much as I can of the bible. I try to let the Holy Spirit speak louder than my own spirit as I study. I have a number of good books that help. I have a number of good friend who help me, too.

Studying Titus I can't help but be impressed that knowing, defending and teaching sound doctine is important.

Equally important, if not more important, is the establishment and maintenance of relationships. Everything that communicated, taught, modeled and mentored is to be done in the context of a relationship. Breaking these relationships, even in the name of defending the doctrine grates like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Much of this confuses me. When I remain in this state of confusion I usually make mistakes. And, mistakes hurt people.

I get into the most trouble when I confuse my role in the lives of others with the Holy Spirit's role in their lives. When I defend sound doctrine sometimes I cross that line that defines our roles.

I am a mentor, communicator, teacher. The Holy Spirit it the convictor. I will communicate it, teach it, model it; hopefully accurately. I will do so even passionately. But I cannot force anyone to believe it, obey it or be convicted by it. No matter how hard I try.

When I consciously stay behind the line I am much better at maintaining the peace. But, when try to force conviction on anyone then things get ugly.

I appreciate the people in my life who help me out of my confusion. Thank you for defending sound doctrine to me and maintaining our relationship in the process.

Just Don't Look Behind Door #3

I can hide anything from you for a while.

I stashed my wife's Christmas present behind my desk at home. I bought it 3 weeks before Christmas. I don't think she ever saw it. I didn't wrap it right away. I don't think she found it...until she was looking for a present for the kids she forgot where she hid. I waited too long to wrap it.

That's what happens when you live in the same house. I can only hide things for so long. It helps that my wife is not a detailed person. She doesn't see details. So, she'll miss things that a detailed type 'A' would see. But then, because she forgets details she'll forget where she put something and go through my stuff looking for it. If I tried to hide something really bad, she'd find it. That's what living together will do.

Titus is written from the point of view that the men in the church, even on the entire island of Crete, have a relationship. This isn't just for the men in the church. They all grew up together. Some are now in this 'new' organization that Titus is appointing leadership for.

There's no hiding stuff from each other. It's a small island. Good or bad, people know about it. It's like that proverbial small town in America. Everyone knows everyone else's business.

Integrity. Does your outside match your inside?

All of our outward actions stem from our inward position. You can fake it for a while. If your inward position is set so that you're not proud of everything you are but you want people to think that you are then you can fool them...for awhile.

I want men speaking into my life who, though aren't perfect, have a lot of good stuff to offer me. I want to be one of those guys, too. That's what Paul is describing. The only way I get the full benefit of what they offer is by being in a long-term relationship with them. Only then do I see and understand how, imperfect as they are, they still are worth being an example for me to pattern my life after.

Likewise, I've known plenty of men who give a good first impression but it's down hill from there. Time is a great filter of the truth.

If I don't want you to look behind the closed doors of my life eventually one of us is going to have to move.

I'd rather stick around, and have you stick around, and learn how to be a better husband, father, pastor, elder and friend together.

Integrity

Things should just line up. Everything should fit.

"In your teaching show integrity." (Titus 2:7)

Paul isn't talking about a lecture from a pulpit here. The teaching comes in the context of a relational discussion. It's mentoring, discipling, and any other term that's been used by churches to describe what's supposed to happen between an older, wiser person and a young fool. All my life I've played the role of the young fool.

Integrity is important all the time. But it's even harder to hide the inconsistencies when everyone is close enough to see what's in each other's closet. It's a whole lot easier for me to keep people at a distance when your only contact with me is Sunday morning and I have a pulpit between us.

But when you're in my home. And, I'm in yours. And we play golf together. We eat breakfast together. Have lunch together. And our wives talk from time to time you're going to find out pretty soon whether or not what I say to you to do, I really do myself, too.

My life needs to line up with what I say we should all be doing. Otherwise, who would listen?

Would I want a church full of people like me? Would you? Would you want a church where everyone gives as much as you do into the offering plate? Would we be rolling in dough or flat broke? Would you want a church where everyone volunteered as many hours as you do? Would anything get done? Would everyone burn out? Or, would everyone be serving a manageable amount of time?

Would I want a church full of people as faithful as I am? Hmmm...

Of course, the answer is I want the people around me to be giving more, serving more and more faithful. But, then you'd need a different pastor. You don't want a pastor trailing behind everyone. You also don't want an elder trailing behind either.

Leaders lead. By definition leaders do a little more than everybody else. And it all has to line up.

What'd You Say?

I enjoy my quiet times. I usually do them at 6:00 in the morning. That works best for me. I'm up before anyone else, except my dog. She's good company that early in the morning.

God seems to speak clearly to me at what some would consider an ungodly hour. I'm in 2 Chronicles right now.

You're thinking, "6:00 am? 2 Chronicles? Can anything good come out of Chronicles at 6:00 am?" Yes. A lot of good stuff.

It's an environment I'm in control of. Me, my dog, my coffee, my bible and my journal. Perfect. I sometimes wonder what all I miss from the Holy Spirit because I'm so incharge of the environment.

Then, I come to Wake Up Call. Everything is out of control there. Who knows what we'll talk about. We start in Titus. Where we end is anybody's guess.

You guys always challenge me, though. I'm challenged to think about things I probably wouldn't sitting in my chair at 6:00 am. Sometimes I wish you guys would just shut up. Okay, I wish God would not speak so loudy through Randy, Cal, Robbie, Tom, Tom, Stephen, Alen, Jerry, Roger, Scott, Terry and Ron. I wish I could tune you guys out sometimes.

I'm not talking just on Wednesdays. Your voices ring in my ears long after I've left Panera. Still, I should just shut you all out.

But, there's a problem with that. How can I say I'm listening to God if I'm not listening to all of you? Especially you old farts.

If God wants to rebuke me he very likely will use one of you. And, with the relationships we're developing these rebukes will be much better received.

Isn't that the point of what we're doing? God is speaking to all of us through the Word that we're studying, through the words of each other, and with a word from the Holy Spirit directly to our souls. In the context of these relationships we hear, heed and apply to our good.

Sometimes you guys hit a little to close to home. Honestly, those are the times I wish you'd just shut up. But I'm glad you don't.

I'm thankful God continues to speak loudly and clearly through all of you to me. I hope you find it the same way.

I'd Better Put Some Thought Into Her Christmas Present

I appreciate my wife so much. I'm busy working and spending all kinds of hours doing what I do and if it weren't for her we wouldn't have much Christmas going on at home. I get focused on all the things I have to do to be religious and get the year wrapped up and never have to worry much about what's going on at home for the family for Christmas. She does all the work.

My wife made sure the house got decorated. I carried the boxes upstairs but she put everything where it's supposed to go. I carried the boxes back downstairs with the stuff the Christmas stuff replaced around the house.

My wife bought all the kids their presents. I didn't have to do any of it. I assume, because she has every other year, she also bought me a present. All I ever have to do is buy for her.

I had better put a little thought into what I give her for Christmas, too.

She hosts a Christmas tea for the ladies of the church. She organizes and hosts a Christmas dessert party for our neighborhood. She baked cookies, made fudge and toffee, and got our Christmas cards and letter out. She bought a jigsaw puzzle we put together as a family. She bought a new game we played as a family. She has prepared each of the kids' favorite meals while they are here for break.

Oh, and we have a couple of families in the church who are dealing with some life-threatening, life-altering issues and she's prepared and delivered meals to both of them. She made sure one of these families had Christmas presents to open, as well.

I'd better put a little thought into what I give her for Christmas!

And Paul tells Titus to communicate to the older ladies so that they can teach the younger ladies to "be subject to their own husbands." (2:5) Looking at this from our culture it looks like I might have ammunition to force my wife to do what I say. Just rip this out of the context of the passage and the context of the culture and try to force your wife to submit. I dare you.

Or, keep it in the context of the passage that also says that the older women are to teach the younger women to "fulfill their duties at home" (2:5) whick literally means, "be the despot of the house." That is, be very much in charge of what's happening in the home.

In the context of the culture there was societal pressure for every woman to submit to every man. As soon as a man walked in the room, no matter what relationship she had to him if any, every woman was to submit to what he said.

Paul was actually raising the value and independence of women while reducing their responsibilites to submit. The only man a women must submit to is her own husband, not any other male. And, she is absolutely in charge of what's going on in the house. There's no way any man would come into a house where the despot is in charge and tell her what to do in any way, shape or form.

She is free to fully exercise her gifts, intellect, talents and leadership skills and I'd better not get in her way! In fact, what I have to do is honor her. I have to lift her up. I need to tell her and show her that I love her, respect her and appreciate all that she does on behalf of the Lord for our children, our friends, neighbors, church, and me.

I'd better put some thought into what I giver her for Christmas!

Programs Don't Do This

We can't program this. There's no way to organize this so it works following a set of simple guidelines. It's too complicated.

People can make it happen, though. It has to be a priority. It has to be genuine and there has to be an honest desire for it to occur.

Everyone has to understand their role and be mature about the process. A young pastor who's been trained in sound doctrine teaches it to people who've experienced more than he has. These recipients, take what they're taught and combine it with their experiences to teach other people who will undoubtedly go through these experiences at some point in their lives. And, that young pastor might even be a recipient.

Seems simple. Seems biblical. Why not?

Too often in churches today everyone wants the pastor to teach to their experiences. He'd better be relevant or they'll go find a pastor who is.

Well, if that the case then we should hire an older man to be our pastor because he's obviously experienced more. But, the young adults will argue, his experiences as a 20-year old were far different than theirs, now. He can't relate to them. He's irrelevant.

So, let's hire a young pastor. He'll bring passion and fire. But, he'll also bring inexperience. The older adults will argue that he's not speaking to them. His teaching lacks the depth that raising and launching teenagers will inevitably produce. He can't relate to them. He's irrelevant.

Older adults still want to be viewed as wise, mature and with something to offer the younger adults. But, somewhere along the way their doctrine gets stuck in traditional ruts. You know, husbands must lead. Wives must submit. Women should stay home, not work outside the home, the children need this.

Younger adults would love input. But they're done with old traditions. They are impersonal and irrelevant. Besides, in this economy, what family can really live on one income? Housing prices, SUV's, private schools, and traveling soccer teams are priced out of sight. Wives are college-educated, maybe even an MBA. Husbands are passive. And, besides, God created us all equal, right? Does it matter who leads?

Oh yes, so right. What does an older woman with only a high school degree who's stayed at home all her life really have to offer a young, high powered female exec? And, what does an older man who climbed the corporate ladder to became a vp and sacrificed hours with his family to provide financially for them have to offer a younger man whose more interested in living near the poverty line and taking his family on peace corp trips while his wife is studying for her MBA?

A LOT!

Then, who's going to pastor this group and what does he or she really have to offer them?

Modern church. Only God could make this work.