I'd Better Put Some Thought Into Her Christmas Present

I appreciate my wife so much. I'm busy working and spending all kinds of hours doing what I do and if it weren't for her we wouldn't have much Christmas going on at home. I get focused on all the things I have to do to be religious and get the year wrapped up and never have to worry much about what's going on at home for the family for Christmas. She does all the work.

My wife made sure the house got decorated. I carried the boxes upstairs but she put everything where it's supposed to go. I carried the boxes back downstairs with the stuff the Christmas stuff replaced around the house.

My wife bought all the kids their presents. I didn't have to do any of it. I assume, because she has every other year, she also bought me a present. All I ever have to do is buy for her.

I had better put a little thought into what I give her for Christmas, too.

She hosts a Christmas tea for the ladies of the church. She organizes and hosts a Christmas dessert party for our neighborhood. She baked cookies, made fudge and toffee, and got our Christmas cards and letter out. She bought a jigsaw puzzle we put together as a family. She bought a new game we played as a family. She has prepared each of the kids' favorite meals while they are here for break.

Oh, and we have a couple of families in the church who are dealing with some life-threatening, life-altering issues and she's prepared and delivered meals to both of them. She made sure one of these families had Christmas presents to open, as well.

I'd better put a little thought into what I give her for Christmas!

And Paul tells Titus to communicate to the older ladies so that they can teach the younger ladies to "be subject to their own husbands." (2:5) Looking at this from our culture it looks like I might have ammunition to force my wife to do what I say. Just rip this out of the context of the passage and the context of the culture and try to force your wife to submit. I dare you.

Or, keep it in the context of the passage that also says that the older women are to teach the younger women to "fulfill their duties at home" (2:5) whick literally means, "be the despot of the house." That is, be very much in charge of what's happening in the home.

In the context of the culture there was societal pressure for every woman to submit to every man. As soon as a man walked in the room, no matter what relationship she had to him if any, every woman was to submit to what he said.

Paul was actually raising the value and independence of women while reducing their responsibilites to submit. The only man a women must submit to is her own husband, not any other male. And, she is absolutely in charge of what's going on in the house. There's no way any man would come into a house where the despot is in charge and tell her what to do in any way, shape or form.

She is free to fully exercise her gifts, intellect, talents and leadership skills and I'd better not get in her way! In fact, what I have to do is honor her. I have to lift her up. I need to tell her and show her that I love her, respect her and appreciate all that she does on behalf of the Lord for our children, our friends, neighbors, church, and me.

I'd better put some thought into what I giver her for Christmas!

Programs Don't Do This

We can't program this. There's no way to organize this so it works following a set of simple guidelines. It's too complicated.

People can make it happen, though. It has to be a priority. It has to be genuine and there has to be an honest desire for it to occur.

Everyone has to understand their role and be mature about the process. A young pastor who's been trained in sound doctrine teaches it to people who've experienced more than he has. These recipients, take what they're taught and combine it with their experiences to teach other people who will undoubtedly go through these experiences at some point in their lives. And, that young pastor might even be a recipient.

Seems simple. Seems biblical. Why not?

Too often in churches today everyone wants the pastor to teach to their experiences. He'd better be relevant or they'll go find a pastor who is.

Well, if that the case then we should hire an older man to be our pastor because he's obviously experienced more. But, the young adults will argue, his experiences as a 20-year old were far different than theirs, now. He can't relate to them. He's irrelevant.

So, let's hire a young pastor. He'll bring passion and fire. But, he'll also bring inexperience. The older adults will argue that he's not speaking to them. His teaching lacks the depth that raising and launching teenagers will inevitably produce. He can't relate to them. He's irrelevant.

Older adults still want to be viewed as wise, mature and with something to offer the younger adults. But, somewhere along the way their doctrine gets stuck in traditional ruts. You know, husbands must lead. Wives must submit. Women should stay home, not work outside the home, the children need this.

Younger adults would love input. But they're done with old traditions. They are impersonal and irrelevant. Besides, in this economy, what family can really live on one income? Housing prices, SUV's, private schools, and traveling soccer teams are priced out of sight. Wives are college-educated, maybe even an MBA. Husbands are passive. And, besides, God created us all equal, right? Does it matter who leads?

Oh yes, so right. What does an older woman with only a high school degree who's stayed at home all her life really have to offer a young, high powered female exec? And, what does an older man who climbed the corporate ladder to became a vp and sacrificed hours with his family to provide financially for them have to offer a younger man whose more interested in living near the poverty line and taking his family on peace corp trips while his wife is studying for her MBA?

A LOT!

Then, who's going to pastor this group and what does he or she really have to offer them?

Modern church. Only God could make this work.

Who's Teaching What to Whom?

So, who's teaching whom, what?

Did you know that after the verb "communicate" (NET) or "teach" (NIV) in Titus 2:1 there's not another verb in the Greek text till the end of v.3 where Paul refers to older women teaching what is good.

And, that word "communicate" literally means to preach or lecture.

Paul had been instructing Titus for years on sound doctine. Now, he left him in Crete to finish the work of putting together the leadership structure in the church there.

Though, Titus was coming to know sound doctrine there were cultural things relevant to Crete that he did not know well, yet. At least, he hadn't studied Cretan Culture as long as he had studied sound doctrine under Paul.

Paul left him to strengthen the fabric and foundation of the church there in Crete. But he didn't know the culture. So, how could he teach the young Cretans how to treat their husbands or wives, how to raise their children in a godly home, how to run a godly household, how to manage finances biblically, how to run a business and treat customers, and other godly behaviors? He needed help from mature Cretans. But they didn't know sound doctrine. And, they needed to learn it and learn it fast.

So, Paul helped Titus set his priorities. He needed to communicate sound doctrine to the mature Cretans so that they could give relevant, cultural application with the doctrine to the younger adults in the church. He didn't have a lot of time for give and take, or a dialogue. He just needed to get the information out. So, he would have lectured a lot.

Mature adults tend to be better, more efficient learners. Mature adults process information more efficiently finding their applications faster and more accurately.

So, if I want to build into the fabric and foundation of Grace Church, I need to communicate sound doctrine to the older adults in the church and have you give relevant application to the doctrine and pass it on the younger adults.

Sounds like a pretty good idea to me. What do you think?

Able to Teach and Teachable

Titus 2:2
"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance."

I remember what it was like this time of year in 1982 when I was working on my first Masters Degree, in education. I was finishing up assignments for my professors at the same time I was assigning end of semester projects for my students. Interesting perspective.

Efficiency was imperative; on both ends. I appreciated, so much, my profs who were the best teachers. These were the classes where I really understood what they were trying to teach me and how it applied to what I was trying to do. Even when I'm a business major studying education and taking a history class. That history prof taught me a lot, not only about history, but how to read, process information, summarize and communicate the important facts to the rest of the class. Invaluable to a teacher.

I was impressed with the importance of helping my students mine the pearls from among the sand in the classes I was teaching. I wanted them to learn more than the subject matter, but also how to read, process information, summarize and communicate the important facts back to me.

That kind of immediate application sticks.

So, "old men" (Titus 2:2), are you teachable? And, by now, are you teaching?

Heb 5:11-14
"We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."

It's amazing how being a student will improve your teaching skills. And, how teaching will improve your learning skills.

I've known way too many old men who grew a lot (spiritually) as teenagers and in their early 20's. They grew a little more in their 30's. But something happened within them when they arrived in their 50's and 60's and they stopped learning. And, this is typically the age when we look to men to be leaders and teachers. If you've stopped learning you have also hamstrung your ability teach.

Deut 4:1
"Hear now, O Israel, the decrees and laws I am about to teach you."

Deut 5:1
"Hear, O Israel, the decrees and laws I declare in your hearing today. Learn them and be sure to follow them."

The Hebrew word used in 4:1 as "teach" is the same word used in 5:1 as "learn". The 2 processes are inseperable. The biblical definition of the process is, if the learners aren't learning then the teacher isn't teaching.

Hmmm. So, in order to be considered a good teacher, my students have to be learning. And, the only way to know if they are learning is if they are making better decisions than they were before.

And, in order to be a good teacher, I have to be a good student. Which means, someone is teaching me well enough that I'm making better decisions.

I need people in my life who are learning from others and in turn are investing in me. I need to be taking what I'm learning and in turn investing it in others. Almost sounds biblical, doesn't it?

Too many men short-circuit the process and check out of being students. But, when they do that they have retarded their ability to teach. How effective are they really?

So, old men, are you teachable? Are you seeing evidence in your life in the form of making better decisions today than you did last year?

Old men, are you teaching anybody right now? By now you ought to be teachers of deeper spiritual issues. Have you mastered them? Who's learning from you in such a way their life is marked by better decisions today than they were making a year ago?

Can you imagine a church where every man is learning and teaching?

Grace is a Chaser

Purity. We cannot make ourselves pure. In fact, no one is pure. Except...

Rom 3:21-24
"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."

Mark 7:15
Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'

LIkewise, nothing going into a man can make him clean, either. There is nothing a man can do to make himself pure. The only thing we can do, which is quite enough, is to have faith that God, in his grace, has made us pure.

And, as Paul wrote to Titus, those that have no faith, not only cannot do anything to make themselves pure, everything they do, even what would be considered good by moral standards, is corrupted and no good.

This changes everything. The best work by the worst person is no good at all. The worst work by a good person, that is, one who has been declared good by God, is a good work. Someone who is declared good is motivated entirely differently than they were before they were declared good.

God won't let a declared good man go down the path of disobedience without chasing him and catching him. Jonah. God said, "Go up to Nineveh." Jonah ran down. He ran down to Joppa. Down to the pier. Down into the hold of the boat.

God chased him and caught him. So, Jonah thought suicide would be the best response so he had the sailors throw him down into the water. This is the ultimate in cowardly copouts. Rather than face the wrong deed and make it good, quit. God chased him into the water and wouldn't let quit.

Rather than allow him to drown, God had the big fish swallow him. And, literally, in the belly of the fish Jonah had his "come-to-Jesus" meeting.

Jonah, in his repentance, said this, "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs." (2:8)

He realized that unbelievers, who cling to idols are never chased down by those idols the way God chased him. He did not deserve to chased. In his mind he deserved to be let go and die. Not only did God see to it that he lived, he lived the abundant life that God offers all who believe.

Jonah got another chance. Grace. Followers of Jesus, those who believe, those who have been made pure by God who do bone-headed things that hurt people are chased down by God and given another chance. We get the chance to repent, atone and restore.

As leaders we need to do all that we can to help people recognize that they have been caught by God and are given another chance to do things right. Remember, their rightness or wrongness does not make them pure. They already are.

We are not God. We cannot become the issue. We must direct people to deal with the issue as God convicts them. Still, they are pure because God made them pure. Their actions, though questionable, are all part of the process God takes us through to grow us up.

Since purity is a declaration of God it changes how we view the actions of of brothers in Christ. Most who are running would get to point where they would rather be let go. But they won't be. The Holy Spirit is a chaser. He might use one of us in the process, but make no mistake, God is the chaser.

Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit that grace that could be theirs. Thank God that grace is a chaser. He will never let us go.

Acceptable by God's Standards

"All is pure to those who are pure. But to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their minds and consciences are corrupted." (Titus 1:15 NET)

So, are you a 'meat-eater' or a 'vegetarian'? Remember Romans 15:7?

"Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God’s glory." NET

Those who ate meat ridiculed and disrespected those who did not. They didn't because they were convicted that it was irresponsible and ungodly. I'm sure they made a very convincing case for their spiritual health and physical health. After all, meat carried many illnesses and the chance of becoming ill after eating it was greater than if you abstained.

The vegetarians resented those who ate meat believing that they were immature and irresponsible. But the meat eaters believed Paul was literally correct when he wrote Titus 1:15 and 1 Corinthians 10:23-33

"Everything is permissible"-but not everything is beneficial . "Everything is permissible"-but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, for, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."

If some unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience. But if anyone says to you, "This has been offered in sacrifice," then do not eat it, both for the sake of the man who told you and for conscience' sake— the other man's conscience, I mean, not yours. For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience? If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." NIV

Think about the things that divide us. There are those significant doctrinal differences and sinful activities. Then, there are those things that shouldn't but do anyway.

Should we fight to keep prohibitions of the use of alcohol and tobacco in or out of our church constitutions? Should we argue and divide over whether or not the rapture will occur before, during or after the tribulation? Then what about the large number of Christians who don't believe there will be a rapture at all?

One of our highest priorities is to be unified. We are not supposed to be uniform, however. As leaders, we must not only maintain peace but promote it. And, our promotion sometimes will test our ability to accept those who don't do things the way we do them.

Can we be the model church by not requiring everyone model their behavior after 'me'? And, leaders fight fiercely for our freedom in Christ so that each one of us can live our lives as the Holy Spirit directs.

All this to God's glory.

Looking for the Fix or for the Fight?

So, when do you bring the hammer and when do let things slide?

I think my kids when they were 2-years old and now as young adults. When they run down the driveway full speed toward the street, at one time I would punish them severely for that. Now, sometimes I might even encourage it. Or, when they're 2 it's okay for them to "invite Jesus into their heart." Now, they need to know it's the Holy Spirit that indwells them.

When do you correct things? How hard should they be hit (Not literally, of course)? Or, just let it slide?

In 1 Corinthians 5 Paul addresses the discipline of immoral Christians. He says, in effect, hit them hard with your hammer. But, in terms of immoral people who are outside the church, if you hit them at all, go easy.

There were issues that the 1st century church dealt with that Paul wrote to Timothy and Titus about. These were created by either current Jews or Jewish converts to Christianity who were bringing myths and genologies into the doctine and teachings of the church.

They were leaders. And, the doctrine was directly related to salvation. There may have been more to this, but we know that this was specifically addressed.

So, elders, you who have one wife and faithful, obedient children. You must humbly, without looking for a fight, with great self-control and sensibility correct people who are leading others in a direction that cause them to misunderstand their salvation.

Have you ever tried to correct somebody who was looking for a fight and keep it civil and peaceful? Not easy! This is where an elder really earns his pay. Unfortunately, too many elders are the ones looking for the fight. But, the elder's job is to keep the peace. And, if the one being corrected is too divisive it's time for him to go.

We're called to lead sheep. Sheep aren't the brightest bulbs in the pasture. They don't think for themselves and are very needy. If you turn one sheep away, no doubt, he will soon be devoured.

Elders are called to collect people, people of diverse background and maturity level, oversee their spiritual development, keep them unified and peaceful, and lead them to Jesus who can fix what's broken in their lives. The priority is the fix not the fight.

Sometimes we have to fight, but only when the fix is at stake for the rest.

We have talked a lot about the relational work that's done in the context of the church. Our priority is always the relationships. The teaching always supports the relationships. If it's not, then the teaching needs to change.

If the work is being done early when people are first coming to the church, the relationships are being strengthened and the doctrine is true then there will be less and less call for the hammer. And, that's our goal. If we can maintain a healthy bond among leaders, up and comers, members and guests; then the need to hammer someone will rarely, if ever occur.

Timing is important. Hopefully, issues that have the potential to divide the entire congregation can be dealt with very early on. Then, if the one who would eventually split the church needs to move on then the loss is only this one or just a few like-minded. Elders must be active, not passive, and take the initiative to address things when they're still just sparks or small fires before they become raging forest fires.

Still, the million-dollar question is when. That's where the elders' walk with God is so important. God will let us know when the time is right and what weight of discipline to bring. Though we'll never be perfect, we can be right most of the time.

Pursue the fix not the fight.